Why can't I write like this for my reading response?

22:16 "HOLD STILL" 'HOW DOES YOUR LIFE MOVE FORWARD WHEN ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS... HOLD STILL.' Ok this book is good like really good. I didnt like the beginning because I can't handle people being sad or depressed it makes me depressed too. If I hang around one person for too long Ill start to act like them it's kind of scary cause I'll just be doing something or saying something and I'll think that is exactly what my friend would do. It's the same with books I can feel like I am in their world but only with the really good books where the authors know how to pull you in. A few time I've actually got up from reading a book to get a drink or something and I'll go back wondering who turned off my movie, its really disorienting, it feels like I'm just not at the right place, like there is somewhere eles I'm supposed to be.